HOW DO YOU WANT TO SHOW UP?
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
I had a coaching session with a client, and I asked this. The crazy thing is, I needed to ask myself this very question.
I have thought about it some before, but as I was giving examples of this work, I realized I needed to re-evaluate how exactly I am showing up versus how I want to show up.
We all many roles in life. You perform the role of a person in the world, a citizen, a friend, a daughter or son, an employee, possibly a mom or a dad, a co-worker, a neighbor…. I could go on and on. You have a lot of roles, my friend. Again, I ask how do you want to show up in these roles? You can’t control how others show up. But, you can control how you show up. 100%.
Here are some ways that I want to show up in the world:
As a woman in the world
1. I want to have my own back. Always. Even when I make mistakes, I want to admit -well that didn’t work but it didn’t kill me either. Then be willing to ask, what’s next?
2. I want to truly hear other people. Even if I don’t like what they say or agree with them at all.
3. I want to be someone who does what they say they will do.
4. I want to be someone who plans her time well and follows her schedule.
5. I want to leave every place I’ve been a little better than I found it as much possible even if that means just returning someone’s cart they left in the parking lot.
6. I want to be kind and courteous.
7. I also want to speak what’s on my mind and not - not say the thing. Especially if it’s important.
8. I want to be someone who knows I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness.
9. I want to be someone who knows that no one else is responsible for MY happiness
10. I want to be someone who knows my relationship with food and alcohol is totally and 100% in my control
11. I want to be someone who knows my weight is 100% in my control
12. I want to be someone who knows my money is 100% in my control
13. I want to be someone who knows my TIME is 100% in my control
14. I want to be someone who is willing to admit when they are wrong and take steps to correct it to the best of my ability.
15. I want to be someone who never stops learning about the world and myself.
16. I want to be someone who has FUN. A LOT OF FUN.
17. I want to be someone who puts in the work time - but from a place of love and fun.
18. I want to be someone who doesn’t quit when things suck.
As a wife
1. I want to be a wife that always speaks my truth.
2. I want to be a wife that listens to my husband when he speaks his truth even if I don’t agree.
3. I want to be a wife that has my husband’s back.
4. I want to be loving.
5. I want a fantastic sex life.
6. I want to be a wife that will schedule time for myself.
7. I want to be a wife that schedules “us” time.
8. I want to be a wife that understands when my husband needs “me time” or“friend time” or “hobby time” even if that doesn’t go along with what I had in my mind.
9. I want to be a wife that lets things go after fights and doesn’t bring them back up the next time I’ve had more wine than I should.
10. I want to be a wife that isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants even if I think my husband won’t like it.
11. I want to be a wife who always tries to create a win-win wherever possible.
12. I want to be a wife who is ok with creating compromise when a we don’t 100% agree.
13. I want to be a wife who is willing to talk it out.
14. I want to be a wife that has fun with her husband and enjoys him for the person he is.
As a mom
1. I want to be loving.
2. I want to be a good teacher - but let me be clear. NOT A HOMESCHOOL TEACHER… NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.
3. I want to be a mom who knows her limits and knows when to seek alone time.
4. I want to be a mom who knows it’s ok if I cook something my kid doesn’t like
5. I want to be a mom who schedules time for my son.
6. I want to be a mom who is willing to make mistakes and not get bent out of shape.
7. I want to be a mom who is willing to let my son make mistakes and not get bent out of shape.
8. I want to be a mom who creates a safe place for my son to say anything, even if I don’t like it.
9. I also want to be a mom who teaches my son that there are consequences for our actions and to take responsibility for that.
10. I want to be a mom that teaches my son how to cook AND clean.
11. I want to be a mom that teaches my son that women can do the same thing as men and for equal pay.
12. I want to be a mom that teaches my son how to be a friend.
13. I want to be a mom that teaches my son that being a friend doesn’t mean that he always has to do everything a friend wants him to do if that’s not what he wants or if it compromises his integrity or values.
13. I want to be a mom that my automatic answer isn’t always no, but still to know that there are many times when no is the best response for the time.
14. I want to be a mom who knows that my son is his own person. While I can create house rules, personal behavior rules and enforce the rules with consequences,I want to know in my core that he is his own person. When the time comes,I can’t force him or shame him on his chosen college, career, partner/ spouse.
15. I want to teach my son how to have hard conversations.
16. I want to teach my son to tell the truth. Even when it’s hard.
17. I want to teach my son to be kind and courteous as much as possible, but there may be times where kind and courteous isn’t the appropriate response – and that’s ok.
18. I want to be a mom that is patient enough to let my son learn new things or take on projects without saying “Oh, just let me do it. I don’t have time for this.”
I could go on and on.
But I won’t.
I’m curious on how you want to show up.
Who do you want to be?
If you would like help doing this work for yourself, I would love to help you through this. This work, is the reason for our here in the human experience – learning, growing and becoming the person you are meant to become. How are you showing up in your human life? Send me a message if you want to begin this work for yourself.
I hope you all have a great day. Much love to you all!
